Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
