Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
