garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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