I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
