I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
