I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
