Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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