I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
