I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
