We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
