You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
