she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
its liver damage thursday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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