sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize