Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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