Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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