So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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