It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
