So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
