how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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