So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
