not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
