Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
