ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
