what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this boner is exhausting
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
