So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
