My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
