Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
