the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
