then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
