Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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