wrigley field is MILF paradise
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
