i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
