Me. At least after what I've been through.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
