I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
