xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Randomize
