Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Im part way to drunk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
