Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize