Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
one might say we're banned from that church
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
