I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
