two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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