real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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