but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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