You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
