no, he came in my armpit
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
