Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
how drunk are you?
Several
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
