i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
