im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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