it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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