i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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