hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
