All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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