What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
