I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
