I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
