Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
