i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had sex on a roof
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
