I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
