Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
