I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize