He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
