So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize